Okay, it’s later on now and, fair warning, I’m going to whine and bitch and complain but I’m so mad I can’t help it.

I am so sick of people making promises and plans and then breaking them because they got a better offer, or they can’t be bothered, or something else ‘more important’ came up.

Specifically, we scheduled Troy’s vasectomy a couple of months ago and way back then we asked Troy’s mum if she’s look after the kids. She said she would, so I thought it was all set. Until today when it turns out that they’re going to Perth that weekend. Adam has some kind of family day on his boat and while he doesn’t appear to care whether they go or not, Susan wanted them there for some reason. So instead of maybe saying sorry, we’ve already got something happening, they’ve turned around and said too bad Troy and Rebecca, you’ll just have to sort something else out.

I’m so fucking mad about it. It’s not just this particular thing either, it’s like there’s this huge long string of occasions where our plans have all been mucked about because we have to fit in with someone else, when no one else ever seems to change their plans to help us out.

The whole thing of trips to Perth is a bit of a sore spot with me right now anyway. At the start of the year Steve and Jean made out their yearly calendar and marked down on it when they’d be going over to Perth and when they’d be taking each child. Jericho’s turn has been marked down for the first weekend in December all year…until last week. When suddenly Adam and Susan are busy so they can’t go and stay with them. So he’s not going, then he was going to go the weekend before (when they go for this family day on the boat thing) then they couldn’t do that so it would have to be some other weekend, then today when I asked it’s now been decided that they’re going during the week, directly after the weekend when they were originally planning to go, and sorry I forgot to tell you…

Of course I sound like a whiny, entitled bitch. Wah wah wah, someone’s taking my child away on a weekend trip and they’re not doing it to suit my schedule…I realize how pathetic I sound. I know that we’re lucky that they do so many things with the kids. But it’s frustrating sometimes because we don’t have anyone else to help us out with them. I don’t have any family that I can ring and leave the kids with. And as pathetic as it makes me feel, I don’t have friends I can leave the kids with either. And while it’s lovely that Troy’s mum and dad do so much stuff with the kids and enjoy spending time with them, none of it is actually about helping ME at all- it’s just that they like to spend time with the kids, so they arrange it to fit into their schedule. Like having the big kids sleepover one at a time every fortnight- it’s great and the kids love it, but quite honestly I’d trade in regular sleepovers for just ONE sleepover that let me do something that I wanted to do.

Whatever. I guess that I’m just feeling like I’ve been slapped in the face with where we sit on everyone else’s list of priorities, and it’s not all that high. And as much as I’m mad, I am also really disappointed that I might not be able to be with Troy when he has his surgery. I know it’s not that big a deal, that even if we can’t find someone to watch the kids we’ll just have to manage to have me drop him off and pick him up, but it’s still something that mattered to me (and Troy) that I can’t make work out. Story of my life right now.