Nicholai and Emma are writing out their Christmas cards to hand out at school. After much discussion they have decided that they will write out joint cards and give one to everyone in the school, which is fine with me. It seemed kind of stupid for them to both give cards to the same kids, which is what happens when they’re in the same class. Now they’re making out all these elaborate rules and systems for who gets to write ‘to X’ and who writes on the envelope and whether they sign it ‘love’ or ‘from’ or ‘love from’.

Nope, scrap that…discussion devolved into whining and arguing and tears, so after two warnings mummy went mad and took all the Christmas cards away.

This endless fighting is making me deranged. I am not going to sit here and listen to it, so they can write their Christmas cards out some other time. Preferably when I’m not around! Or else I’ll send them back to the library and they can fight it out to the death, but at least I won’t have to listen to them.

Yesterday they fought all the way home from school as usual, but I completely snapped and when we got home I told them they could sit out on the porch until they were ready to apologise to each other for being mean and apologise to me for fighting in the car (again!). I then went inside and shut the door. They were out there for about five minutes then came in and said sorry…then started fighting as they walked to their rooms to put their bags away!

I kind of wish we had doors on their bedrooms at the moment. (We don’t because the rooms are so tiny that we couldn’t actually fit in the furniture we needed in there and still have room for the door to swing open.) I’d love to be able to shut them away from each other when they’re constantly nagging each other.

I would also love to be able to shut the door on Soren, who seems to be such a light sleeper that he wakes up whenever anyone even looks in his direction. I’ve been closing the door at the end of the hall which works as long as everyone stays out in the kitchen or living room, but as soon as anyone needs to go to the toilet and walks down there he’s awake and wailing to get out. I have even gone in and re-measured the room in the hope that I can somehow rearrange the furniture so that at least the cot isn’t directly opposite the door, but it just can’t be done.

I made some hair bows yesterday. Nicholai and Emma have been invited to a birthday party on Sunday and they need a present to take. I’m much quicker at making the hairbows than I used to be, and I only got one actual burn with the hot glue gun, so that’s good! They turned out pretty cute, although I always think it’s funny that the ones I don’t like that much are the ones Emma thinks are beautiful.

Troy and I are considering investing in solar electricity for our house. It’s pretty expensive, but there are some really big rebates, the electricity company will buy any excess electricity we generate, and it will cut our electricity bill right down. That’s the theory anyway, but who knows about the reality of it. I’m looking around at online info, but I think we’re going to need to contact one of the installers and get them to come out and do their spiel. I am just being seduced by the idea of being able to run the airconditioner guilt free on hot days!

Soren is eleven months old today. In a month he’s going to have a birthday…how can this be happening already?

I was supposed to have a psychologist appointment tonight, but she called and cancelled because she’s not well. I was completely thrilled with this, as I really didn’t want to go! I feel like you do when you were supposed to have a test at school but the teacher gets sick and doesn’t show up.

Anyway, I’ve been dealing with trauma without her. Heather (the kids’ old kinder teacher) came over yesterday to see our new house and catch up and the two of us spent quite a bit of time sitting at the table in tears as we talked about fire related issues. Her place is up near Marysville and she was there on her own on Black Saturday and fought it for hours and managed to save her house. We haven’t talked much since then, but it was really good yesterday to be able to talk to someone who really understands what it was like.

Troy and I had a meeting with Nicholai’s teacher this morning about what she wants to do with him next year. With their numbers he’ll be a grade 2 in a one/two composite class, but being in the older grade doesn’t really give him much room for acceleration. I’ve been a bit worried about it honestly because I think this year he’s just been coasting, and that the teacher hasn’t been doing as much for him as he needs. She admitted today that he’s needed more for the last couple of months, but now she’s been looking ahead and planning out a program for what he can do next year. The biggest change will be that he’ll be going to the senior room for maths classes next year. While his maths skills are uneven, he’s testing ahead in every area, up around a year 8 or 9 level for number skills…and this is mostly self taught really. Anyway, in the senior room he’ll be able to fit in to whichever maths group is working on the level he’s at and can move ahead when he’s ready. We’ll have to see how it goes (he’s still a bit prone to throwing tantrums) but if it works then we will have that as an option to extend him in other areas too.

Soren has been such a misery the past few days! Crying for no discernable reason, not napping, waking up in the middle of the night and then getting up for the day at 6am…I think it’s probably related to him starting to walk and just being a bit worked up about that developmental milestone, but whatever the reason I really hope he settles down soon.
I finished crocheting another monkey for a gift- this one has a tutu and it's the cutest crocheted animal ever. So Natalie, if you want to be surprised don't look...

Overhearing little bits of conversations between the kids can be so funny. This morning Nicholai and Emma were talking about the kids at school while they brushed their teeth, and I heard Emma say, “Yeah, yesterday we had a ‘disgusting’ day and we all had different names...Jami was Willy, Angel was Poo-poo and I was Pop off…I think today we’ll just be normal though.”

Normal indeed. Who would have thought little girls would take such joy in being revolting?

Troy’s surgery went well today. There are no dramas, and although he’s sore now he doesn’t feel too bad. We dropped the big kids off at school and then drove over to the hospital. I had Soren in the Ergo and Jericho was running around being his usual flamboyant self, and when I was talking to the nurse and she found out that there were two others at school she raised her eyebrows at us and said, “No wonder you’re here to get that done…”

Twenty four hours after we put our tree up, and the bottom third of it is pretty much bare- Soren has pulled everything off, I find it all scattered across the floor and replace it higher up. I think we’re going to end up a bare tree even higher too, since before we looked over to see Soren standing on a toy basket to reach up higher.

I’m thinking that maybe going off the anti depressants at this point was not such a good idea. I don’t know, I just feel like I can’t be on them forever…but maybe I will be? Maybe it’s just time to give up and accept that this is the way it’s going to be, that my brain chemistry sucks and there’s nothing I can do about it. Except take drugs, or else continue on my way crying every single day and hating the whole world.

I need a new doctor though. The doctor who originally diagnosed the pnd and prescribed meds is the OB/GYN that I saw through the pregnancies. His completely hands off approach suited me fine then, I just wanted him to sign me over to the midwives and let me do my own thing. But going to him with mental health issues just doesn’t work that well- I need a doctor who can give me a bit more than ‘take more meds’ or ‘go off them if you want’. Because when I feel like this I don’t KNOW what I want and I’m not really all that capable of making a decision on the best method of treatment without a little guidance.

I talked about it last visit with the psychologist. She made me answer one of those questionnaires that assesses your level of depression and I’m definitely at a level when medical help should be considered, but I explained to her that I really don’t think that doctor is going to be any help. She works out of their allied health centre though and has some dealings with all the doctors and she said that some of the others were better at dealing with this kind of stuff and gave me some names. I guess now it’s just up to me to pull myself together, make an appointment and go. Sigh.

On a completely unrelated note…Nicholai can be so funny sometimes! He told us at tea that he was in a secret club at school, and when I asked what the club was about he told me, “I’ve already told you that it’s a secret club…I can reveal no more.”

My god, my kids are so LOUD. It’s like they don’t even know what a normal tone of voice is, because they certainly never use one. If they were a toy we would long ago have duct taped over the speakers to muffle the sound…too bad I can’t do that to them. I think life would be somewhat more pleasant if it were just a little quieter.

We’ve had such a busy weekend. Yesterday was Troy’s birthday so we gave him his presents in the morning, and then while the kids were at swimming Troy and I put together the barbecue he got from his mum and cleaned the place up in preparation for having people over for tea. We also had to go and buy some drinks and salads and snacks which we’re really not very good at, since we always seem to buy the completely wrong amount. Anyway, Troy’s mum and dad and brother and his kids came over for tea which was fun, despite it winding up a pretty late night for all the kids.

Today we took the kids shopping to buy a present to go under the donation tree at the office. We did this last year and thought it was a good idea to encourage a spirit of altruism and generosity in the children. Last year we picked a tag for a boy the same age as Nicholai, so this time we decided to get a girl the same as Emma- we couldn’t get a six year old, but we figured ‘girl age 8-10’ was close enough. Emma took her task of choosing a gift quite seriously, which was very cute. All things considered the kids behaved pretty well, but we were out of there before lunchtime- the Christmas crowds have started and Jericho and Nicholai were starting to go a bit out of control.

Then after lunch we did our Christmas decorating! It’s kind of early, but I don’t really care- I wanted Troy to help get the tree and boxes out of the shed before he has his surgery on Monday, and once he’d pulled them out there didn’t seem any reason not to just go ahead and put them up! I shall probably be sorry for this later- the tree is in the playpen and all the ‘good’ ornaments are on the top half, but Soren just keeps yanking off everything he can reach so I’m already finding baubles spread all around the house.

While I do dislike the rearranging that’s necessary to fit a Christmas tree in the loungeroom, it looks very cheery and festive now! Less than a month to go and we’re pretty organized. The kids don’t get loads of things so I’ve got most of it done, and Troy and I are going to get his mum to watch them one Thursday night so we can go to the shops when they’re open late and finish it all off. I shall have to try and make an effort to wrap early too, because I hate when I’m there on Christmas eve, impatiently cursing the children for not being asleep knowing I have a pile of presents that still need wrapping before I can go to sleep!

Troy’s having his vasectomy tomorrow. Right now I just feel pretty blank on the whole thing. It’s the right choice for us, but knowing that it’s the end of the pregnancy and birth and baby era really does sting.

I wish I could go with him. Just to hang out while he’s waiting and talk, and be there for him. But as always, lack of handy babysitters means that’s not going to happen. His parents are away and I don’t have time to drop kids at school and then take the little ones to Catherine’s or Miffi’s place before I have to have Troy at the hospital. He’ll be okay on his own though, and the hospital have said they’ll try and fit him in with school pick up times so hopefully I’ll be able to go back to get him fairly soon after he’s done and out of recovery.

I forgot to say on Friday but the builder finally came! Well, one of his lackeys anyway…he installed a cat flap, (which Ootchy has not poked a toe through as yet) built a gate across the deck and fixed the floor under the shower. The gate is really good- it means we can keep the dog out in the yard for one, but mostly now Soren can go outside on the deck and isn’t at risk of falling down the brick steps off the verandah. The gate goes the whole way across the deck so we can open it up when we want to as well- it even has a little wheel on the bottom so that when you open it the weight is on the wheel and not just the hinges! Clearly I’m easily amused, because I thought that was quite funny.

The dog is sulking though. He can’t sleep right on the back doorstep now, so he obviously got all fed up and went off to sleep in the garden!

In another shining moment of parental skill of my part, Soren manage to evade my notice and crawl up on the front verandah and fall off into a rosebush. Really, I should write an instruction manual on this kind of mothering talent I have…

His face and one arm were all scratched up- not as badly as I first thought when I saw him with blood smeared all over his face, but it still looks painful. It looked worse at the start because one scratch was near his eye and he either cut his lip on the rose bush or put his teeth through it, so tears and drool were just spreading blood everywhere. He cleaned up pretty nicely though, and he’ll be good as new in a couple of days. And at least he didn’t break any bones- Jericho was only two months older than Soren is now when he fractured his arm.

I took Emma to the ENT clinic at the hospital this morning for a consult with a surgeon. He was pretty much on board with my thoughts, and she’s now on the waiting list to have her tonsils and adenoids out. I’ve got to have her hearing tested, and depending on how that looks they’ll put grommets in her ears at the same time. The wait time is currently about 3-4 months which will work out pretty well- it will mean we can get through Christmas and the summer holidays, and then have it done once they’re back at school. She’ll have to miss two weeks, but I’d rather have her home convalescing on her own (well, with Soren and Jericho when he’s not at kinder) than have her not feeling well and all four of them fighting and carrying on.

I’m really glad it will be done. Her snoring and sleep apnea is a huge problem- I really think half the trouble we have with her tantrums is just because she’s chronically overtired. The idea of having her put under a general anaesthetic and having bits chopped out of her throat and nose is kind of awful, but we do have to do something and it seems like this is it.

Lee and Mutari and Kareem came and stayed for a couple of days. It was so lovely to see them, and watch the kids get to play with their baby cousin. Kareem is just cute as a bug, and they were all so impressed with him- Jericho has asked me already when his cousin “Preem” is coming back. So funny how Kareem was such a novelty too, he’s only about six weeks younger than Soren but my three older kids were all about ‘the baaaaby!’ and loved playing with him.

We went into the city yesterday to check out the decorations, and had a great day. The kids were fantastic- stuff like that is always somewhat of a gamble with them, but they were so well behaved and had a good time. We took the train in, then walked up to Myer and looked at the windows, bought our Christmas decoration, then had lunch at the Pancake Parlour and came home.

However our train was delayed on the way home due to rain or floods or lightning, not really sure which one was responsible. Whatever the reason, I am never going on stupid public transport ever again, because it is nothing but crap. Every single time we go on a train something happens- breakdowns, suicides, floods, crashes…it’s ridiculous. Considering how rarely we go on trains this is really pathetic- either the system is much worse than it used to be, or else we’re just really unlucky. Whatever, in future I am going to drive us all in to the city (which is cheaper for us anyway, since we don’t pay for fuel) and the kids can get experience on trains some other time.

Although Soren did enjoy the delay. We hung about on the main concourse at Flinders street while we waited, and I let him out to crawl around. He just took off and had a blast with so much space to get going in! He had so much dirt on his feet and knees when we were finished though- his skin was probably darker than Kareem’s. As well as crawling he kept trying to stand up and walk, and then he discovered that he could stand on his head, and he thought that was a rather funny trick.

Speaking of Soren, as I’ve been writing this he has just been practicing his walking. I just looked up to see him walking from the couch over to the tv. That’s it…I don’t have a baby anymore!

My tattoo is all peeling and itchy now, which is a good sign. It’s looking more ‘real’ I guess- it’s no longer so shiny black that it looks like it’s just been coloured in with a fineliner. Jericho is becoming reconciled to it too, and finally touched it today- very gingerly with the very tip of a finger, but at least he’s no longer upset if I touch him with that arm!

Everyone thinks my tattoo is fake. It’s kind of amusing to see people’s reactions to it actually.

It bothers Jericho. Today he asked me “why you wear that every day?” and when I told him it wouldn’t come off he scowled and told me, “you not touch me with that. It might go on me.” Reminds me of the way he was so appalled by Soren’s ‘broken finger’ (when his fingernail came off) and couldn’t bear to be touched by it! He’ll get over it soon I guess.

The first time Soren noticed it he tried to grab it off my skin- I swear that hurt more than getting it done in the first place! He didn’t do it any damage thank goodness, it would be just my luck to have baby razor nails rip out my tattoo before it even healed.

I had the psychologist this morning. I didn’t want to go, knowing I have to go and talk and everything is like a dark cloud hanging over my days, and I think if I could have thought of a decent excuse I would have been quite happy to skip it. Of course in the end I know it’s doing me good, and I’m a grown up so I’m going to just make myself keep going and talking to her until I feel better.

Emma had another reading test at school, and she’s now officially been moved ahead about twelve levels so she’s supposed to start reading chapter books at level 28. By the end of prep they’re supposed to be at level 5 or above…I think she’s got it covered. I’m so proud of her. She’s been progressing pretty rapidly with her reading all year, but in the last couple of weeks I’ve noticed a big improvement. Not just in what words she can read, but that she seems to have finally started to think of herself as ‘a reader’…now she is reading everything she sees, all the signs and labels and notes around the house, as well as sitting down and reading library books and picture books. She’s realized that being able to read all the reader books she’s bringing home from school means that she is able to read anything else she sees, and she’s just racing away with it. I’m so pleased for her, but I do hope she’s happy to be read TO for a while longer because I’m enjoying reading Ramona together and I have a few other books in mind for when we finish that!

I went to Dirt Cheap Books this afternoon and bought some fairy books for Nicholai and Emma to take to a birthday party they’ve been invited to. I also bought a book called The Story of Christmas- it’s a retelling of the Bible nativity story illustrated with photographs of Lego people. It was kind of a ridiculous purchase, but it’s so funny I couldn’t resist it.
It even has a website- www.thebricktestament.com ha ha- I love toys.

My tattoo is done and I love it. It didn’t hurt anywhere near as much as I was afraid it would, so I was quite calm and relaxed while it was being done. It also only took about half an hour, so it’s not like I had to feel it happening for that long! I have to get used to it, I keep catching glimpses of it out the corner of my eye and wondering what the hell it is on my arm!

Lovely day all round. Got my beautiful ink, got to spend time with an old friend (who also got some more ink…she was there to hold my hand and pick me up off the floor if it were needed, which thankfully it wasn’t! and get some stars on her neck) doing some craft while watching movies. Such a funny combo when I think about it- we go get tattoos, then come home and knit tea cosies and crochet monkeys.

I finished the crocheted monkey and he's adorable!!!

He's about 40cm (16") long, made from a cotton/acrylic blend yarn. He's mostly stuffed with polyfill, though I added some polybeads to his body and feet to weight him down a bit, which helps him sit up.

I'm excited that he turned out so well, honestly, because I didn't strictly follow any pattern (gasp!). I used this pattern http://stitch.hellooperator.net/free-patterns/amigurumi-doll/amigurumi-doll-pattern-charts/ as the basis for him, but then I had to make up his face and ears to be monkey like. It's not perfect, but it's a pretty good start.

I might have to make another one though- this one was earmarked to be given to someone, but Jericho ADORES him...

Why am I so easily bullied? I went to the kinder AGM last night, which you supposedly had to go to in order to enroll your kid for next year, although I would think at least half of the parents weren’t there. They did their agenda, and then had to fill the committee roles for next year…say hello to the assistant secretary.

I don’t know, as far as jobs go it should be a bit of a no brainer. There is a secretary who will do the secretarial work, I suppose I just need to step in if she’s away, or if there’s a lot to do I will help her out. I just didn’t want to be on the committee! But when they’re standing there lecturing us on no committee=no kinder I always give in and put my name down.

And I’m going to have a child at that kinder for the next four years. Once you’re on the committee it’s hard to escape, so that’s a lot of meetings!

I had an appointment with the psychologist yesterday evening too. That’s just grim and depressing, because apparently to get over trauma you have to talk about the traumatic experience. And then talk about it again and again, and even tape yourself talking about it and listen to that until I suppose I eventually get desensitized. While the end result of all this will be worth it (such as not crying every time I try to talk about it, and not being thrown into panic mode at the sight of a spire of smoke in the sky) it’s not exactly going to be fun in the interim. I have another appointment for next week, and I’m already dreading it.

I also spoke to Sue the school psychologist yesterday. I just ran in to her in the carpark, so we stopped and talked for a bit. I told her about the cushion throwing incident and she said it’s things like that that we need to keep track of to help us with funding applications in the future. She told me that the department is changing the eligibility criteria slightly but it’s unlikely to make a difference for Nicholai at this point, and that she’s still thinking ahead and how we might wrangle some aide funding for him in a couple of years.

She’s not sure what’s happening with her job next year either, whether she’ll still be working at the school regularly or if she’ll be moved out of the cluster, but she said that she still wants to work with Nicholai regardless, that she wants to see him through.

It made me feel so good. It’s always been one thing Nicholai has going for him- despite all the Aspie tantrums and carry on, people like him. Sue likes him, she sees his potential, wants to see him reach that and thinks she can help him do that. We’ve been so lucky to have had her at the school this year.

I talked with her about my concerns about Nicholai’s academic progress, and the worrying lack of plans there are for him. In some ways that’s not her area, but I feel a bit like everyone’s been focused so much on his behaviour that we haven’t been looking at that. It’s easy to skip it because he’s so ridiculously far ahead of the other kids, but as he’s getting older I would like to see him challenged more. Not even necessarily with more difficult work- but just with having to focus and work hard to do something. He has so many great project ideas, I think it would be really good to actually make him see one through…stuff like that.

Anyway, I did approach the teacher a couple of weeks ago about this and didn’t really get anywhere, and I told Sue about that. She suggested that she approach the teacher and set up a meeting where we outline specifical goals for Nicholai (academically, socially and emotionally) for next year, so that we’re all on the same page with that, which is a good start.

Troy’s mum is also going to try to have a word with Mrs. Bowen about Nicholai, and see what she would suggest we do with him. Jean has known Mrs Bowen for thirty years and she’ll give it to her straight, so that might be some good information there.

I don’t know. This year has not gone quite as smoothly as last year, and next year is shaping up to be difficult with the increased class numbers. I know that we can’t run the whole curriculum to suit Nicholai, but I do think we need to try and make it as appropriate for him as we can, and right now I feel like his needs are being lost in the shuffle.

And despite my best efforts of denial…Soren has been taking steps! The other night as a joke I held him upright and said, “Walk to daddy!” and let him go and he took three steps! There’s been a few more odd steps here and there since then, so we’re not quite walking yet but we’re very, very close. My big boy!

I went and picked Nicholai and Emma up from school this afternoon. I was waiting on the verandah while the class trickled back from German, and when Nicholai saw me his face just crumpled. And if there’s anyone who can dramatically collapse into tears it’s Nicholai! By the time he reached me he was wailing, “Oh, I was so dreadful…my behaviour was terrible… I was so naughty and I don’t want to tell you!” I suggested that if something was upsetting him that much he should probably share it with me, and he just sobbed, “But I was so so terrible…my behaviour was just beyond the limits!!!”

After a lot more tears and hugs, he finally confessed. “I was so terrible! They were singing my least favourite Christmas carol in music and I got so mad and went out, and then it was German and I threw a cushion at Mrs Bowen and tried to run out to the staffroom but a chair leg tripped me over so Mrs Bowen didn’t have to run out after me, but she made me sit in the corner with nothing but a tissue box!!!!!!!!!!!”

I can’t believe he threw a cushion at Mrs. Bowen! She’s been teaching for about fifty years (she taught Troy!) and there’s nothing she can’t handle. She commands respect just by the way she looks at you! And now she’s got Nicholai…I think he’s probably the only kid she’s ever taught who has told her that she knows nothing, and now started throwing things at her.

It’s such a difficult situation though, because he absolutely has no impulse control. He knows how he should behave, he knows that there are no circumstances in which his behaviour today would be acceptable and he’s completely remorseful, but he can’t stop himself at the time.

I never thought I’d be the parent of the naughty kid.
And while I am shocked by his behaviour and all…when I came home and told Troy he threw a cushion at Mrs Bowen. Threw a cushion! At Mrs Bowen! the two of us laughed and laughed and laughed.

I still feel like shit, although marginally better than yesterday. This flu is horrible, and now I have much more sympathy for how the children must have been feeling last week! Next year I’m getting a flu shot and will hopefully avoid this misery.

At least Troy’s been sick too. Not that I want him to feel bad, but he’s been at home instead of at work, and two somewhat incapacitated parents are better than one. And he feels slightly less crap than me, so he picked the kids up yesterday and drove them to school today.

I’ve changed my mind on my tattoo placement. I was going to get it on my leg, mostly because I liked the spot and it would be pretty easy to either show off or cover up. But in thinking about it, I’ve realized I don’t actually like my legs, I can never keep up with waxing them, they’re covered in scabby mosquito bites at the moment, and I don’t want to draw attention to them. So I’m going back to my original plan of having it done on the inside of my forearm. Not as easy to cover up, but not impossible if necessary. And how necessary is it anyway? It’s not as though being an at home mom is a job with a dress code. The tattoo is going to be pretty, and if I get a job later on I can always just wear long sleeves or cover it with a bandage or something if I have to.

The only nice thing about being sick is lying around and watching Degrassi episodes on dvd. This show rocks so much. So many mullets and black and white polka dots and Stephanie Kaye the hooker dressing school President!

Ha ha, just as I wrote that the twins turned up on screen and one of them is wearing white with black polka dots and the other one is wearing black with white polka dots!! Such style.

I got my photos back from the printers today. I now have to sit down and write dates on the back of 242 photos. That’s what happens when I don’t print anything for six months.
God, I really do feel like shit!

I have what the kids had. This always happens- they get sick and I take care of them, and then Troy and I get sick and I take care of everyone anyway. I felt okay this morning, but I have felt progressively worse all day and now I’ve got a headache, a fever, swollen glands, and bones and joints that hurt to move. All I can do is hope that I get over it faster than the kids did.

We went to a barbecue over at Troy’s mum and dad’s house today. It was a thank you barbecue for all the people who came and helped clean up their place after the fires (removing fencing, cutting up and clearing trees etc) which meant that there so was so much talk of the fires I couldn’t stand it. All this talk about fire watch groups, and making fire plans and stuff…like any of it matters. It’s not as though having a fireplan means you get to USE it- my fire plan was always to simply grab the kids and run as fast and as far as necessary to get the hell out of the way, and we didn’t even get a chance to do that back in February.

In the end I decided rather than burst into tears in front of the other guests I’d just stay out of the way, so I sat in the loungeroom and worked on the crocheted monkey. I’ve done a head and a body now and it’s so cute! The head has turned out way better than I actually expected it to considering I had to make half the pattern up. I’m hoping it’s just as cute when it’s a complete animal and not just a disembodied head.

Jericho is so pedantic, it’s funny. Today he told me he was thirsty and asked what he could have to drink. Being silly I answered, “Oh, the blood of the lamb, the freshest morning dew from the top of the tallest mountain…” Jericho just looked at me hopelessly and said, “Can’t I just have water or something?”

God, I feel dreadful- this is not an auspicious start to the week.

Soren has discovered the train set. He seems to love the little trains- holding them, chewing on them, twiddling the wheels with his fingers and then driving them along the couch. I don’t think either of the others started driving cars or trains along when they were this little, but he does it all the time.

It’s (kind of) funny though. The trains are in a big plastic crate and he’s not big enough to reach in and grab anything that’s migrated to the bottom. He tried really hard before and tipped over and got trapped lying over the edge of the crate, with his head in the box and his feet dangling a couple of inches off the floor. I had to rescue him because he was shrieking quite a bit, but I couldn’t help laughing too.

He’s really not been well today. He kept waking up and crying last night, so he’s been tired and just leaking slime all over. I think he might have a sore throat, because he will cough a little, and then start a pained kind of screaming. Which would only make a sore throat worse, so it’s a vicious circle.

I finally finished the mosaic tables and they’re out in the library. I do like the finished product, but if I’d known how much I would dislike doing it (and how much money I’d wind up spending on the materials) I probably wouldn’t have done it.

I also finished crocheting the bag I was making. I was going to do some crochet flowers to decorate it, but I think I like it just the way it is. It’s not as though I’m going to use it too much, since I nearly always have Soren with me and thus need the nappy bag, but it will be good to have it.

I’ve started crocheting a monkey. I’m a bit obsessed with having a project going at the moment I think. I couldn’t find a monkey pattern that was exactly what I had in mind, so instead I’ve got a doll pattern and a few monkey patterns that I’m going to try and combine. So it will either be beautiful, or a complete disaster. I hope it works out.

Aaargh, Soren is in that totally accident prone stage of not being able to walk and trying to so he falls down all the time. He also uses anything he can get his hands on to pull himself up, not seeming to care if it’s actually suitable for that purpose. He was holding onto the side of the train box before and fell and hit the side of his face onto the box (it’s kind of see through, when I looked over his face was all squished up against it, ha ha ha) and just now he pulled the fire screen down on top of him. Fortunately neither of these things did any real damage, but I’m thinking he needs to go to bed before he does himself an injury.

Jericho has new pyjamas. Lack of time to search out some cheapskate pyjamas mean he got pairs with Spiderman, Lightning McQueen and Optimus Prime on them. He is thrilled.

He was demonstrating to me the Spiderman pose, with his hands out, and then he asked me why Spiderman was doing that. I told him, “He’s fighting the forces of evil…do you think you’ll do that too?” Jericho just looked at me pityingly and said gently, “No, I think I will just eat my tea and wear my pyjamas.”

He’s not back to normal, but he’s a lot better today. He hasn’t had a fever, although he’s been tired and whining pretty much nonstop this afternoon. I took him out this morning to buy the pyjamas, partly because he needed them and partly because then he was restrained in the car for a while and HAD to have a rest, which is really what he needs. Soren is a lot better today too, although he had a very disturbed night last night. Fingers crossed that tonight they all just go to bed, go to sleep, and STAY asleep until the morning!

Eight more days until I get my tattoo. I’m so terrified. I’ve wanted to get a tattoo (in the abstract) since I was about fifteen, and I’ve had the picture of what I’m going to get saved on my computer for a couple of years. So it’s definitely a thought out kind of thing, and I’m not worried about not liking it in a year or two or whatever…it’s just going to hurt and I’m scared! I keep reminding myself that I’ve had four babies, it’s not going to hurt THAT much. And my mum has three tattoos…it can’t be all that hardcore if my mother has them! Either way, it won’t take as long as having a baby took, and Alyssa is going to take me and hold my hand and stop me behaving like a big baby, so it will all work out in the end. As long as I don’t faint. Please don’t let me faint- how embarrassing would that be?